I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious

Not too long ago I was given a list of jobs that interest me that I had to fill out, this was assigned to all the form four’s and we were obligated to go. The entire point of this was to get the idea of what career you’d be more focused on and what it’s like to work. Apart from my previous experence working last summer I had my doubts about this whole this, still with the idea that it will only be for a week I was still nervous about this appertiship. On the list I had ticked IT which would be my first preference and journailism for my flunte English, little did I know that the place I was going to be sent did Maltese only newspapers and magazines. Union Press is the place they sent me to, when I arrived I had many thoughts going through my head about the work they might give me, how the employee’s might react to my preformance and reliability. Unlike when I was working in the summer I realized everything was completely different, in my summer job they weren’t even aware that I was a student and it was my first job - although I wrote it in my CV, my employer gave me a 5 minute walk through just to show me around the place, I had told him this was my first job ever but it didn’t seem like he actually cared.. After the five minute walk through I was appointed to clean and prepare the tables - I was never supposed to do anything on the first day, infact I was supposed to be an apprentist not a full time job and he was expecting me to know what to do even after I told him it was my first job. Anyway little did I know what to do and many times my employer was fustrated at me and made me become even more nervous and caused more mistakes, I was dissapointed in myself but in reality it wasn’t my fault - who employes someone without checking their CV first of all?, and who assigns work right away after a five minute briefing of the place? and what do you honestly except the performance of a student who has never worked before to be?. Anyway, I always had a problem figuring out what I always wanted as a career, unlike other people I knew I would have to figure it out soon ever when I was young, students never really tend to think about their future nor do they seem to care about what they want to be. Since I’m a very shy and nervous person I expected that working would be a diffucility to me since I don’t like to ask questions no matter how important they are, I’m not the talkative type nor am I the type that likes to annoy people especially when they are working. I knew that I had to ask questions about the software, if I have any problems or if I need anything unrelated to this all.


The first day I arrived I thought it would be a good idea to be as punctial as possible, but I had made my first mistake, forgetting that I had to be there at nine’o’clock I arrived at around seaven or eight. I already became agitated with myself and already thought that this would start out horrible. Waiting patiently I finally met with the one who would assign me to whatever departement I’d like to experience, according to my teacher he was to be aware of what I wanted to do depending on what I had ticked on that list, but he wasn’t so I told him I wanted try out something in jornalism which turned out to be a complete flip-flop, I hadn’t thought about it to be honest it just came to my mind. The thing is about this departement is the employee’s didn’t really show me around and give me a briefing of what really goes on here - sadly I wasn’t even showed how to use the software, right away they gave me this crossword I had to copy, I didn’t really see the point of it but the reason was everything was in Maltese and since this year I started doing Maltese and thankfully passed it wasn’t really something I should be doing since I just started so there wasn’t anything I could do here without Maltese, I did what I had to do at a slow pace but I managed. The day after I talked to Ronnie and asked if he could send me something that would more suffice what I’m more interested in and what I’m more naturally good at, so I asked him if I could go in the editing deparement which was more into my field. Although they edit the articles which are in Maltese and not really in English the main thing was the editing, the articles are published from one stage and shifted over to here where the concept of the magazine/newspaper is -

 - Created, letters are displaid which corresponds to the article written. If the article is lettered A for example it is placed where there is A on the concept of the magazine/newspaper. The title and information about who created the article is then deleted and edited to fit the layout, the text is then reformatted to the font that is used in the newspaper. From here the stage is repeated then the articles are checked for spelling and syntax errors, of course there might be some errors here and there but that isn’t the editors fault. What I’ve been doing is learning how the software is used to create and edit what is produced here and how everything works around here, there are something I still haven’t learned but that’s obvious, I’ve been getting these concepts of the newspaper ”l-Orrizont’ which is the main newspaper that is created here at Union Press. The whole idea of this it to get a real feel of what the employee’s do here and to understand what the career field I’m interested really is. I’ve failed a couple (maybe more) times with some of my editing but that’s only natural, I’m a student anyway and I’m not really getting paid.

              The conclusion of this all

So I’ve learned how to use software but the most important thing is I’ve learned and cleared my doubts of how work would really be, I’m sure there are problems that exist like the sort of people that you could have to work with but it’s not all bad; it could be worse. I’ve learned more how to deal and communicate with the people who work with the and what helps making things easy. I learned that asking questions isn’t such
such a bad idea, the thing is to keep calm, know what you’re going to say before, have a hearable voice and be polite. By keeping all of those in mind I’ve managed to improve my socail skills and have more self-confidence in myself when approched or creating a conversation. Although there are some problems when it comes to communicating I wish some people knew before critizing like my lack of hearing, I suffer from a build up of preasure in my ear which disallows me to hear what I am saying or what the person talking to me is saying. Employee’s should be more aware of what the possible medical conditions one may have and try to understand them more. I also learned I shouldn’t worry that much because all those doubts accumalite a lack of self-respect and confidence in one’s self. I’m glad I gave this a chance because at first I was going to stay at school and not go to this Job Shadowing thing, although I’m glad I gave it a chance. Make mistakes, so what - you learn from mistakes, you see the people who work here but they have experence and people must understand that these things don’t come in the first week, people who work here have learned from screwing up and have many years of work experence so remember, don’t be afraid to make mistakes because you’ll only learn and improve from them. I really don’t know if the employee’s have been saying things about me but I really don’t mind, just do what you have to do and try to produce what you can at the highest quality, be social and don’t be afraid to build a relationship with whoever you work with, infact it’s actually better to - don’t be a mute and wait for people to come up to you nor should you say ridicoulus things or joke about people. Tomorrow’s my last day year I’m hoping I can come back here and learn some more things during the summer and maybe be an apprentas with ETC. On the other had I have figured out what I want to do and it gives me more hope and understands, this summer I plan to take some Photoshop courses and hopefully take private lessons in Maltese, I also want to buy-

 - a Macbook air or an iMac so I can get used to the system and be prepared (plus I need a new computer). I like the people who work here they’re very friendly but sometimes it can get a bit noisy here but I don’t mind, the workspace is very suiting to me and that the fact that everything is done on the computer is another that which I really like, I won’t mind a different department but I really like it here.

I thank my school for assigning us to this project, Ronnie, everyone else who works here for helping me and me for having faith in myself, thank you.

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”

I can no longer give a shit to the people who refuse my compassion in their life, I try my best to help others and sometimes insist on helping. With experience and wisdom I help my friends but there is one particular person who refuses it all. Like a battle scared warrior whose leader has failed him I plummet to the floor wondering why, my friend who has declined me doesn’t understand what he’s done to himself and to me. By refusing my help I feel like I’ve taken a dagger straight to the heart by my once known as friend.

I can no longer care, I’m sorry but from now on you’re on your own. 

The week I was at Cyprus, I dreamed of my final days in Malta. It was one of the most beautiful dreams in my life I could remember. 

It was the final weekend. I was preparing myself for the final changeover, where I found finally be myself again. Laying in my bed, I was constantly concluding points to myself of what I was going to do with my life from that point and who’d I change into once I cross that border line.

My parents were in the kitchen talking over and over again. About what, I cannot remember. At some point I got up to do my regular chin-up exercises listening and thinking about what will happen next.

The next day I was at the airport. Everyone I cared for were there. Even my friend, James, that normally wasn’t allowed out came. I went around with him as all my other relatives were speaking with my parents for the last time. I told him what he would have to do to get out of here and opened my heart up to him for the last time.

With my wide eyes, I gave him all my compassion I could possibly offer him. My wisdom and advice was the key to him moving on without me beside him. As the sky drew darker, it soon became time to check-in. Me and James walked back to my parents where everyone was speaking. Me and James sat down near the others and had a causal talk.

Soon it was time… I looked James in his eyes for the last and final time. He embraced me before I could him. Judging by the what he had done, he deeply cared for me… for I was his only friend. I couldn’t help break down into tears. I wasn’t sad. They were tears of joy.

Although me and James argue a lot, we were always the best of friends. Words could not express that moment in time. I had never felt so at peace as I did that second in my life. The moment felt like eternity over me. I can’t even gauge how long it lasted. Maybe one minute, maybe a few seconds, but it was possibly the best single minute of my life.

I  then went up to my brother and gave him a hug. Without hesitation he hugged me with most compassion. He had never showed such love for me in his life. “God damnit I’m crying again,” I said laughing joyfully. James was giggling while crying to the scene.

Ian and I both looked into each others eyes as if it was the last time we’d see each other. I couldn’t read what he had to say but I knew it meant a lot. I kissed each of my relatives and family. I spoke my final words to all of them for the last time, giving some small advice to my trouble-making cousin who looked up to me in some sort of way.

We grabbed our luggages and went to the check-in. Ascending the elevator, we waved to everyone and Jame’s look caught my eyes. He gave me a look I’ve never seen before as if he was to say “Goodluck bro, I wish you the best.” I then opened my eyes and gazed at him one last time and smiled.

I looked at my mom and my dad and said “It is time.” I then took my phone out and put my headphones in my ears in a bad-ass fashion. With my head held high I proceeded to the departing sector. It was the same as I did in before we came to the airport.

I sat down with my music playing thinking about what I will do from that point. That moment I could only imagine seeing my friends and family in Canada again. I thought of a very important friend of mine whom I grew up with. If she were to show up… I mentioned it to her that I’d be at the airport at the time I was told. She told me she would be there. I really hope she will…

Everything.

I don’t know how much you guys take my posts to consideration but I would like to point out that all my posts are just ”thoughts”, I write stuff that I’m thinking about during the my free time.

Well well well I wasn’t expecting this, my brother finally passed so he’s going to university which can mean only one thing. I’M GOING HOMEEE WOOOOHHOOOOO XD, So the only thing left in this last capture is to do my best, this summer my life will, without a doubt never be the same. I’m not completely worked up about going back home because now I have to settle my end of the deal. I let my friends know that I’m coming back home, they seem excited but I still feel like something is wrong. Soon I can set my pain to rest, soon….Next summer ._.

I hate maths more then anyone on this planet. I hate it because I am horrible at it, very horrible. My parents say I can improve and all that stuff. No I can’t. I am very limited in my maths skills, saying you can improve maths is a lie. I know where I can improve and not. If you could improve on everything you could be perfect. But I don’t believe in perfection, I don’t seek perfection, and I don’t tend to fix the flaws that cannot be fixed. Parents and teachers all say the same things, I don’t want to burst anyone’s bubble but simply there are things in life which you can’t change. No matter how wise you are. No matter who you are. You can never be good at your flaws.

Maths is one of my flaws, My brain isn’t good when it comes to anything with numbers. A student can understand physics in the logical term, but not in the mathematical term. Which is me. If you say I can improve my mathematical skills or anything other then that. Then you have got it all wrong.